Corporate Synergies is a modestly epic 14-part space opera of questionable ethics and dubious morality centred on the ongoing conflict between two mega-corporations and their quest to dominate the retail landscape of Earth’s ever-expanding colonial reach.

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6

CORE COMPETENCY

Frog had no idea where she was.  Well, she knew where she was in terms of her own physical location on the colony world of Biccaneus – or Big Anus as the soldiers all called it – but she had absolutely no idea where Big Anus was in relation to Earth or the Solar system.

It was outside the Sol system, of course, but that aside, she just knew it took a long time to get there and that no matter where you went on Big Anus, it smelled like a combination of wet dog and stale tobacco smoke.  Everywhere.  In the colony buildings, in the shops, in the EMD barracks, in the fields.  And the smell seeped into clothing and even into your goddamned skin so that there was no fucking escape.  Everyone on the planet smelled like a pack-a-day Burmese Mountain Dog that lost its umbrella.

It was fucking gross.

And it didn’t help that it rained for a minimum of five hours every single day on Big Anus.

Much to her displeasure, Frog had found herself deployed in a field in the No Man’s Land between UniRe and GCon forces, in the middle of a particularly long-lasting rain.  The rain had started two hours before she’d been deployed and had continued for…

She glanced at her watch.

And swore softly.

She had taken up her position nearly four hours prior.  UniRe had made a huge fuss about the new undergarments with which they were supplying the EMD.  Completely waterproof, they’d said.  There had been a huge product launch complete with posters in the mess hall and promos on the UniRe social network, UniME!™.  The much-vaunted waterproof nature of the undergarments had been proven to be an exaggeration.  And not a small one, at that.  Frog could feel the rain water seeping through and pooling in the small of her back.  She didn’t even want to consider what parts of her anatomy were beginning to get pruny.

But still she stayed in position, flat on the muddy ground, her Ghillie suit keeping her completely invisible amongst the yellow and blue striped tall grass of the Big Anus plains.  Through the scope of her UniMag Lightning Enhanced Battle Rifle – essentially the same as the standard issue Lightning, but with a better scope and a telescoping barrel extension – Frog watched as a pair of GCon scouts slowly skulked along at the far edge of the field.

“I see you, you douchebags,” she murmured.

Adjusting her positioning slightly, she drew a bead on the lead scout, the crosshairs of her scope settling square in the centre of his chest.

“Boss,” she whispered into the mic fastened to her collar.  “Two Geeks in range.  Clear to engage?”

There was a moment of silence before her squad leader responded.

“Negative, Frog.”

“The fuck?  Honzo, I’ve been out here in the rain and the mud for-.”

“Out of my hands, Frog.  Money men are apparently making… hold on,” said Honzo.

The line went dead.  A full ten minutes later, it finally re-engaged.

“Sorry,” said Honzo.  “The money men have concluded a deal.  Being communicated to the Geek grunts now, too.  We’re pulling back.”

“Oh you have got to be shitting me,” said Frog.

But she watched through her scope as the two GCon scouts stopped, appeared to have a brief conversation and then simply turned and walked away.

“Yeah, we’re done here,” said Honzo.  “UniRe has apparently ceded this hemisphere of Big Anus to GCon in exchange for the mining rights on the two moons of New Renfrew.”

Swearing loudly, Frog pushed herself to her knees, feeling the pool of rainwater that had collected in the small of her back run fully down her ass crack.

It wasn’t that Frog was disappointed she no longer had to kill the two GCon soldiers.  In fact, that was something of a relief.  Killing members of the rival corporation’s own Emerging Markets Division may have been part of her job description, but it was not an aspect of the job Frog particularly enjoyed.  Regardless of her somewhat disturbing talent for it.

Her disappointment, wrapped in its warm blanket of anger and profanity, was directed more at the corporate decision-makers who placed so little value on the EMD ‘assets’ in the field.  The Red Roosters, as her EMD team was called, had given up a lot in order to maintain UniRe’s grip of their territory.  They’d lost three members of their team in battle and Frog knew that the Roosters weren’t the only UniRe team to suffer such losses.

“So,” she said.  “Chang and Scooter and that douchey guy with the soul patch… they all died for nothing then, huh?”

“It’s a business,” said Honzo, his tone clearly indicating that whatever words may have been coming out of his mouth, he sided with Frog.  “Get back to base camp and we’ll figure out our next steps.”

“Yeah, fine,” said, getting to her feet.  “I’ll see you in twenty.”

Tossing back the hood of her Ghillie suit, Frog shook out her unruly mass of black curls and tilted her face up into the rain.  Smelly though it was, the cool water felt good on her skin.

But it would feel a hell of a lot better if she knew she was getting a ticket off Big Anus, never to return.

However, she felt that was… unlikely.

TO BE CONTINUED…

Enjoying CORPORATE SYNERGIES?  Check out my full-length novel that involves fewer douche-bags, Radko’s War!